Trip Report #5 (19 July 2009): On to Cahorra Bassa

Leaving Troutbeck we prepared for a marathon stretch of over 400 km to Cahorra Bassa. 

Not far in we had to stop to make an repair to the Dokka’s wiring  which was acting up and causing the vehicle to stutter.

 

 

We proceeded north making one last attempt to return our beer bottles (which are worth R5 a pop), in vain.

We stuck to the eastern border of Zimbabwe using a gravel road which, at times, travelled 500m from the border with Mozambique.

 

 

We stopped at this bridge leading into Mashonoland East for lunch.

This is where I had the opportunity to try the Syncro’s 4X4 ability in getting into and out of our lunch spot.

We had lunch under a Sausage Tree, which is truly a weird thing.  The name comes from the sausage like fruits which it carries.  These are huge (up to 50 cm long) and are not edible.  Apparently their is a process to make them edible, but this is only employed by the locals in times of famine and drought.

Border Nightmare:

Arriving at the Zimbabwe border presented us with our second major border crossing drama.  Adri and Mari-Louise finished all the paperwork and were then told to submit our vehicles for inspection outside.

Outside sat three police men in civilian clothing under a make shift tent.  They proceeded to ask us for a police clearance for our vehicles, after first checking the engine serials numbers against the registration certificates.  We had never heard of such a requirement.  Adri tried (in vain) to explain to them that if we can prove who we are (passport) and we can prove ownership (registration papers) that a police clearance is not required.  In fact, in SA, they do not issue such certificates as it is all electronic. 

It is at this point where it became abundantly clear that we were attempting to apply logic to a situation which was clearly crafted to extract a bribe.  So started the negotiations…

We good cop bad copped them a little.  Adri offered them beers but they would not bite.  (Note on bad cop:  This is simply me sitting down having a smoke and looking like I have all the time in the world).  At some point our lead negotiator (Adri) lost his cool with the police men. Adri asked them for their credentials which they duly provided.  He also asked what exact paperwork is needed from them in order for the border guards (50 paces down the road) to open the boom.  “Word of mouth” came the answer from a now clearly irritated head cop (whom I am convinced is part of whatever subversive force Mugabe has in the police to maintain “order”). 

Adri then decided the try his luck and started his bus and headed strait for the boom.  This of course did not really do much for the authenticity of my “bad cop” interpretation.  It is surprisingly difficult to look as if you have all the time in the world if your travelling partner (and now ex head negotiator) suddenly abandons you and drives of.  I am pretty sure no one has ever had the audacity to try this and the mini chaos which ensued was really something to behold from my position on the pavement next to corruption central.  The younger cop took some seconds to figure out what was going on and went scampering down the dirt stretch making funny hand signs to his border patrol colleagues.

Adri struggled not to look somewhat sheepish  when summoned back by the head cop and asked the obvious question.  Why did you…

It was at this point which I was inadvertently promoted to head negotiator due to an apparent breakdown in communications…

The opportunity for bribing was now over and the discussion became decidedly politically loaded.   I decided to start recording the conversation, for reasons which are not yet clear to me.  I failed in looking casual enough while doing this which prompted the younger of the two to become suspicious.  I noticed this and tried to allay his suspicion by calling Mari-Louise over and handing her the phone with instructions to phone the consulate in Harare.  The cops told us we needed to drive back to Harare (220 km) to get our “papers in order”.

I then proceeded to entertain the older police man’s political ranting which apparently centred on his outrage at us (white people from RSA) thinking that we can bribe him when “he is just doing his job”.  Interwoven with this was side remarks at how Adri reacted.  I took on a conciliatory strategy to try and appease the man somewhat.  I was also loosing my cool a little so I decided to challenge his arguments with a sprinkling of logic whilst using all my mental will power to maintain a civil tone and apparent respect.  A kind of anthropological experiment for my own amusement. This did not go down well and made the man more susceptible to entertain his colleagues, whom at this time was very excited about the whole recording theory.  So the discussion turned in that direction.  I was starting to feel decidedly worried.

Meanwhile, the rest of my backup team, was in consultation with the owner of the Ugezi Tiger Lodge by Cahorra Bassa, which was our end destination.  She confirmed that this scam was an ongoing problem and that an investigation is pending against the police officials whom are implicated. 

“Let me have another look at that fancy phone of yours” he said.  My heart raced as I fetched it from Mari-Louise.  Handing over the phone he accused my directly of recording our conversation which I of course vehemently denied.  I duly promised that I had never used such a function and any knowledge of its existence.  The police man proceeded to tell me that I am a liar at which point I started to panic.

The technological investigation by the Zimbabwe police department went on for another 5 minutes at which point I decided to demand back my passport and phone in order for us to drive back to Harare.  I said this with some conviction and disgust sighting the fact that discussion have now become unproductive as they have now called the replacement negotiator a liar.  Thus we had no choice but to retract to apparent civilization where we could comply with their demands.

This made them think a little and I really thought I was going to get away with it.

It was at this point in proceedings when my wife came walking along shouting at the top of her voice and waving a R100 note: “EXCUSE ME, BUT WILL THIS HELP?”.

“Dammit”.  My heart sank as I saw the head cop’s thinking go back to the politically loaded indignance with which he perceived us.  He asked the obvious question from Mari-Louise…”Are you trying to bribe us”.  She quickly recovered by stating the it is normal for police clearance certificates to be attached to a fee.  I do not really recall much more of this section of the proceedings because the knife in my back was making my eyes water and what ever else powers I had left was spent in trying to will my wife to “shut up and leave it to me”.

After ushering her off, the conversation turned back to the phone recording.  Some time passed before (I think) they realised that they had backed themselves into a corner.  Firstly they could not get a bribe from us, since they had declared themselves thoroughly honest and well meaning.  Secondly, they could not let us go back to Harare.  The thing is, they never could find the recording and if we really had one, they would obviously be in some discomfort with their superiors.

The head cop looked at me and grunted me towards the gate.   I jumped up waved my hand in a circular motion to Adri and team, indicating that we should start the vehicles.  All of this happened with just the right amount of theatrical  nuance.  I could claim victory as a negotiator and what's more, I could give my team mates grief about their apparent back stabbing, however well intended it was.

Having lost two hours we wasted no time to continue on to Cahorra Bass and Ugezi Tiger Lodge.

 

Arriving at the lodge, late evening, we were somewhat sceptical considering our day.  We were greeted by the lodge manager, an Afrikaans speaking gentleman called “Nicky Grobelaar”.  He offered us drinks in the bar while doing the required paperwork.  He also confirmed that our border experience is in no way unique and is a problem which is affecting his clients.

We ended the day with a great meal at the lodge restaurant.  The highlight was a large Bream, which was excellent with some Nederburg white wine.  At this point the bar was also starting to get alive and the scene was far more reminiscent of a South African west coast fishing village bar.

Incredible considering where we were.

ciao, Carl-Hein